Picking the perfect ring for your betrothed is undoubtedly a daunting task, one that can take many days, weeks or even months. All those hours of lustful window-shopping together have past, and now you’re struggling to remember even the smallest of helpful hints that were not-so-subtly dropped.
Buying an engagement ring is one of life’s milestones, but more often than not the pressure to ensure a job-well-done can make the process long and stressful. While the element of surprise was a crucial element to any successful proposal, more and more couples are now choosing to join efforts in the ring hunting, after the initial engagement has passed.
There are a number of factors to consider when deciding the best line of action to take, and the decision to work together on finding the perfect ring, might be as tricky as the buying process itself.
1. Personal Taste
As with buying a gift for anyone, even the person you know best of all, there is an element of risk – personal taste. Even the most textbook appropriate choice, may look entirely different on the finger of your partner. By taking your partner with you to find the ring of their dreams, you are ensuring that an informed decision is made. Everything from time of day, to lighting conditions can affect how you perceive a ring to look, and it might be worth making several trips, over several days, with different outfits to ensure the right match is made.
On your own, there is always the surprise factor to take into account. Although there is a chance your ring might not be perfect, the romance and surprise of a proposal will more than make up for this.
There’s nothing worse than spending hours choosing the perfect ring, presenting it as part of a picture-perfect proposal, only to discover it doesn’t fit! Its estimated that upto 25% of rings that are bought as a surprise, don’t properly fit the fingers of those they were intended for. Getting caught out by this, can be hugely embarrassing, yet it’s easier to do than you might think. Temperature and even hormones can contribute to a different fit. The only real way to ensure a comfortable fit it achieved its to take along your partner
One distinct con to buying a ring together is that of pricing. Money can be a really difficult conversation for some, and the investment of a ring is usually a sizeable one. Taking your partner with you, may lead to some uncomfortable moments, and you may find yourself spending more than you originally anticipated in order to ensure that your partner doesn’t feel somehow undervalued. This may also swing the other way, with your partner feeling uncomfortable with the size of investment you are making. Advice from family jewellers H Hogarth, is that you can get past this by asking your local jeweller to present options without mentioning the prices.
There is something endlessly romantic about the thought of our loved one presenting you with a surprise ring, something that they have spent time and money of choosing themselves. Buying together is undeniably less picture-perfect. If your partner is more of a traditionalist, it may well be worth conforming to expectations and making the decision alone.
By sharing the buck between yourself and your partner, you’ll undoubtedly reduce your own stress levels. The reassurance that your partner truly loves their ring, way well far outweigh any of the benefits to keeping the purchase under wraps. It’s always important to remember that while the glitz and glamour surrounding an engagement is unquestionably exciting, it is just a day, in what will hopefully be, the rest of your lives.
Keeping the real meaning of why you are in this position in the first place, in perspective will help motivate and encourage you to enjoy the process as much as possible. If the best way you can do that, is to seek the advice of your partner, then full steam ahead! After all, isn’t that what your vows will be all about?
Our advice would always be to do what feels right for you, both as individual and as a couple. As difficult as it can be, try not to feel the pressure of conforming to the “norm”. If you do choose to go it alone, there are always options if your partner admits they don’t like the ring after all!